Hello everyone!
So if you don't know, last August I finished my first novel, The Key to Hell. It was amazing. I was so excited. It took only a month and a half. I question on my mind was: what do I do next?
School was starting back up and I had marching band. I had less time to write and too much anxiety to even think of writing a new project. During this time, I didn't write much but I didn't end my author life. I continued to post on Instagram and keep up with that. Reading was also back on my radar.
So as many things go, NaNoWriMo came and I was unprepared for it. I started writing the second novel to The Key of Hell but that didn't last long as I realized I needed to change so many things from the first novel. That ended five chapters in. I started writing some other projects and almost won. But I realized I needed to write and I needed to make a plan.
December comes around and I have winter break. I take this time to realize what I want to do and what needs to be done. I give myself the goal that by the end of January I would starting my first round of beta readers. Big mistake. I'm not going to get into that too much here, it will get its own post. To do that, I needed to rewrite my novel and edit it for them.
This started strong, I got a few chapters in and sent out the first chapter of The Key of Hell to betas. My goal was to have the novel finished in two months so I could start a new project for Camp NaNoWriMo in April but that didn't happen.
For me, rewriting is the hardest thing in writing I've ever done. I think it had to be that I knew the story and I knew where I was going to go. I was writing the story again and I wasn't into it this time. I wanted it done and that leads to mistakes and breaks.
I would take weeks off of writing. I would make excuses why I wasn't writing and I got sick, really sick for three months. From basic March until to May I was very sick, having trouble breathing and sleeping as hard. So writing at that time was hard.
I did push myself, for my betas and mine sake. I needed to stay ahead but feel so behind. I pushed to write three chapters a week, something that last July would have been nothing. But now, anything that wasn't sleeping or laying down watching shows was hard.
As time passed and depression set in hard, everything became hard. Waking up in the morning for zero periods for school. Playing the flute and practicing was impossible because of my breathing. Writing was something I never wanted to touch. But I would slowly keep up and write more.
It took time but last week, a week from today, I finished my rewrite. I was on a live stream for writing sprints and I was so happy to be done. Everything was ready for the last round of betas and I could give in and writing something new.
Part of myself wanted to stop writing altogether. We finished the novel and we didn't need to write no longer, but I couldn't let that happen. I jumped right back in and now I'm almost 10,000 words into a new novel in less than a week. Things are better and I'm happier.
Rewriting took so long and I've decided it was worth it. I know my plot better, my characters better. I know my strengths and weaknesses more. The story came together. Do I recommend rewriting to people? I can't say. I knew to go in that rewriting could be the best thing. I had may too many random things in the first draft do I need to focus more on the main plot. I was adding a new POV and that would change the story. To me, rewriting was easiest.
Creative was something I didn't fully realize was something that could leave me. I've been writing for so long that I thought it could be easy. I would be able to write whenever. And I can. It's all mindset and my mindset over the last six months was not in a good place.
Looking back, I realized my first mistake was with my betas. I started beta reading way too early and that's on me. I also realized I didn't push myself enough. I could have written more. Self-care is important and that wasn't a priority from so long that I burnt out.
I know my limits and what I need. So in my next drafts and stories, I know what it takes and what I need to do. I need to take care of myself. I need to breathe in and out and give it time. Things will work itself out.
Rewriting is amazing but the last few months were hell. I'll be working on that more.
I hope you enjoyed my story!
~Kimberly
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